Tuesday, February 28, 2017

March 2017

Share Parents of Utah is excited to announce 
that we are expanding our support and services! 

Beginning April 1, 2017 we will include the 
communities in Sanpete, Sevier, Juab, Emery, Carbon, and Millard counties. 

We are also thrilled to have the INCREDIBLE Stacey Fletcher on board 
to head up and take the lead on this opportunity.

Should you know families in those areas who are interested in our services or would like to volunteer, we are eager to talk with them!  

We have truly enjoyed getting to know and work with Stacey! Her heart is in this work and she is amazing with the families she has supported! We encourage you to get to know her as well. 

Recently I watched my friends bury their sweet baby boy.  As Kieran carried the little casket out of the hearse to the cemetery, my mind raced back to when I watched my husband, Bryan, carry our little casket, with our own little boy.   My son weighed seven pounds and four ounces, but his casket weighed a million pounds.  Bryan could hardly carry such a burden. Tiny caskets are one of the heaviest objects on earth.  No matter how Super strong, or Super spiritual, or Super brave someone thinks they are…tiny caskets are kryptonite and will bring the strongest to their knees and push faces into the earth asking why.

These little caskets weigh so much because they not only hold our children, we are forced to shove so much in the casket around them—heavy things, things that weigh one million pounds.  We tuck in our hopes and dreams for that child—their first steps, first day of school, first date, college, wedding, grandchildren, tears, laughter, disagreements, and fears.  We are forced to pack these gigantic items around our still children, leaving our own hearts shattered in the process.  Parents then have to fight to close these stuffed caskets, leaving one last kiss, one last look that we beat ourselves with when it begins to fade from our human memories.

I remember wrapping my son tightly in a warm blanket and placing a white warm hat on his head.  He was an infant.  How does a parent place an infant in the cold December ground and not worry about him freezing?   My mind knew his spirit wasn’t there, but my heart was worried he would be so cold.  It was haunting.  Tiny caskets force us to think horrible things—things that no parent should even consider.  These thoughts make those little caskets weigh even more—millions of pounds….

When these little caskets are placed into the ground, I wonder why they do not fall through the earth to its core.  Simple dirt should not be able to hold the weight of such a huge object.  Parents have to walk away and feel the pain of part of ourselves ripping away to forever climb into that casket with our children.  We cannot help it.  A little piece of us will always be lost, be shoved into that simple little box with them.  Our weight is added to its total.

Logically, we stand over little caskets, knowing that our child’s spirit has moved on.  We really believe it.  We see their earthly bodies, bodies often riddled with sickness, problems, and injury.  They are in a better place.  We know that we will see them again.  Even parents who have not been taught it, believe it.  We have to.  This belief is what forces the air in and out of our lungs.  Our heads truly believe it, but our hearts—wow!  Our hearts crave for the impossible.  Our arms, our breasts, our fingers ache for another touch, just one more moment, no matter how still our child is in that awful, kryptonite casket.   Burial seems inhumane, a ritual reserved for a cruel culture, an unforgiving world that forces me to put my child in a box in the ground away from me!  Who would ask a parent to do such a thing?

Sadly, many parents understand the weight of these tiny caskets.  They are scattered around the world, weighing the earth down with their heaviness.  Race, religion, location are not a consideration.  No one is exempt.  Power, wealth, medicine, and happiness cannot stop these caskets.  As parents who own these caskets, we belong to a club that we never dreamed existed, until death took our children.  Yet, with these heavy burdens, we are often given…in time…precious gifts as well.

We are gifted the most precious treasure of perspective.  We understand love in a new way.  We understand the blessings of children that many around the world take for granted.  We learn to treasure time in ways that other parents do not.  If we have more children, we are the types that stand over our babies and watch them sleep.  We treasure every eye lash and fingernail and breath.   We may not understand each other’s pain exactly, but we know similar pain.  For those of us forced to load these heavy caskets, each story is unique, each sadness is different.  Yet, we can look into the eyes of other parents who have lost and not say a word.  We know that it is okay to be broken, to be mad, and to be sickened.  Together, we are a powerful force of survival and strength.  We picked ourselves up and forced air into our lungs when we did not think it would be possible.  Together we stand with others like us, and we talk of our children and say words that we would never say to others; we describe our angels and love them no matter their appearance or condition.  To us, they were perfect.

In time, we become superheroes, and we cannot be stopped by caskets, or urns, or even the burden of nothing to show for a tiny life.  We learn to live with grief and heartbreak.  Our mighty hearts reach to others, and we grow in strength as we carry our burdens and our joys and our determination to live for our babies who are no longer in our arms, but who walk as angels by our sides each day.

Please join us at our upcoming Group Support Meetings.  

Our meetings are always held on the SECOND Wednesday at a local public library and the FOURTH Tuesday at Jordan Valley Hospital.

March Meetings

Despite How You Feel There IS Reason For Hope

March 8, 7-8:30 PM
with Tami and Alexis
Herriman Public Library
5380 West Main Street
Herriman, UT 84096

March 28, 7:30-9 PM
with Carma and Jacquelene
Jordan Valley Medical Center
3580 West 9600 South
West Jordan, UT 84088

Share Parents of Utah has been ramping up to participate in the 

Love UT Give UT 

event being held the entire month of March!  

Please consider researching what we plan on doing with the money we raise and supporting our fundraising efforts and visiting our individualized link here.  

This month's quote:

is being able to see
that there is light
all of the darkness.

~desmond tutu

We want to thank all of you who were able to attend our 
3rd Annual Valentine's Gala this past month!

The night was so memorable and we learned so much from 
Dr. Matt Townsend on incorporating the three E's into our lives!

It was a pleasure to see so many of you there and we are so grateful that you supported our silent auction.  We feel so blessed to have so many incredible items donated/purchased on our behalf!  We were able to raise almost $5,000.  This money is so desperately needed as we continue to grow and help so many families when they experience the unthinkable.  

If you would like access to your free photo, please contact us at info@shareparentsofutah.org and we will give you the link to your free downloadable photo(s). 

Share Parents of Utah Executive Board
Secretary-Jen Bowen, Vice President-Jaymie Maines, President-Melannie Green, Secretary-Tami Alvord

We also wish to extend our appreciation to all the volunteers who secured donations as well as a heartfelt thank you to Chad and Ashley Ramsey who passed on dinner and manned our 
Silent Auction that evening.
Chad and Ashley Ramsey